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THE GREATEST GIFT OF THEM ALL

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Before I begin, let me say that I know without a doubt that there is no one out there who will agree with me. So. You want me to hire you, you say. And how much would you like to be paid, my good man? How do you do, madam? You want to work for this newspaper? How much money do you want? You and you and you. You want us to hire you, each and every one. And your collective salaries? Eh wot? How much? Step right up. Let us know. Excuse me? What’s that? You want to be paid with independence and self-determination? Well well well. Instead, I shall pay you a substantial salary. I shall pay you enough to allow you to roam this earth and do whatever it is you want to do. Why are you shaking your head? You have not yet even heard all that which I have to say. I am promising you loads of money. I will give you scads of moolah. Your pockets will be stuffed with Uncle Sam’s greenbacks. You will be able to buy a Rolls Royce, a private jet, a most wondrous island which even that most famous of painters who went by the name of Paul Gaugin would envy. Yes yes my dear sir. Yes yes my dear lady. But. But but but. Why are you shaking your head? Does oodles of money as payment for your work not please you? I do not understand. Why are you being so contrary? What more can I possibly give you as payment for your services? Excuse me? What is that? You want liberty? And how, pray tell, my dear, dear dolt of a human being, how am I going to be able to give you this freedom? You say you want the job, do you not? You say you want to work for me? You say you want to be in my employ? And you say you want to work freelance? And you say you want to work from your home? No commuting to the office on a daily basis? Done, old chap. All yours. And still it’s not enough? What more can I give you? Name it and will be yours. What is that you say? You do not want to be paid in money? You want to work for me, but you want to work for free? And why, pray tell, would you want to work for free? It is a Pet Peeve of yours, you say? And what is your name, my good man? Benjamin, you say? Well, Benjamin. Tell me, if you please. Why would you want to work for free? Ah yes. I see. I now understand. If you work for free, no one can dictate to you. Working for free is the greatest gift of them all. Working for free give you freedom. Anyone out there disagree? Anyone??

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